Bacon Cheese Mammoth Hash

Bacon Cheese Mammoth Hash

You can't see it in this picture, but I ended up adding more cheese. As my cousin says, "cheese is my weakness." Amen.

You can’t see it in this picture, but I ended up adding more cheese. As my cousin says, “cheese is my weakness.” Amen.

Today’s the birthday of a very good friend of mine, and do you know what? I’m jealous of July babies. They get high-quality beach trips on their birthdays and they can stay out all night without freezing to death. Just once I’d like to switch birthdays so I could say, “Yea, birthday revelry on the beach sounds good.”

Her birthday is today, July 1st, but we celebrated this past Saturday. This hash was inspired by the diner trip, post beach birthday revelry, at some ungodly hour, on the dim, drunk outskirts at the edge of night. It all works out, though. Em-lo (that’s her nickname) deserves the best birthday she can have and January babies get to have snow angels, hot cocoa and toasty fires. “All’s fair in love and war.”

Ingredients: 2 Tbsp of Paleo Woolly Mammoth Oatmeal, (it’s used in place of bread because basically, it creates a nice bread tasting base for the rest of the food, without actually using almond bread. Be sure to leave out the final step of the almond milk, and add the dry stuff to the pan. It has the added coconut, which gives this extra sweetness.) 1/2 zucchini (sliced in thin rounds), 4 slices of bacon, (halved), 2 oz (or however much you want) sharp cheddar cheese (I like any Irish imported cheddar), 1 Tbsp “Paleo Butter” (ghee), sea salt & pepper

Preheat a frying pan. Add the bacon halves. We’re cooking it this way so it’s easier to build the stack later. The shorter pieces work better, but if you like it longer, don’t cut it. Fry up the bacon. Next, lightly fry the zucchini slices in the leftover bacon grease.

The (slightly undercooked) bacon and zucchini are waiting patiently

The (slightly undercooked) bacon and zucchini are  drying off patiently.

Remove both from the pan and allow to drain on a napkin/ paper towel. Pour off the extra bacon grease, but don’t clean a new pan. Add the Oatmeal to the pan and being to fry it up like a loosely compacted pancake. For extra moisture and flavor, add the ghee.

As it starts to brown up, add the zucchini and bacon. Create a loose weave. Add the cheese.


If you can, make another stack of zucchini rounds and bacon. I basically did, then I became impatient while I waited for the cheese to melt, so I chopped everything together, giving extra meaning to the use of the name “hash.” Eat up! This was so good!

"Hash" is chopped up meat and potatoes.

“Hash” is chopped up meat and potatoes.

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